It is vital that men talk to their partner and explore other ways of maintaining a satisfactory sex life. Sometimes hugging, kissing, or petting can be just as fulfilling as penetrative sex. The use of adult toys such as massagers and vibrators may bring equal pleasure to both men and their partners. Adult films/pictures or role playing may also achieve similar results and fulfilment. Although men may feel that there is stigma attached to these types of sexual gratification, many people all over the world make use them to enhance their sex life. There are also other sensitive zones throughout the body that may allow men to have similar sensations of sexual arousal, for instance stimulation of the prostate gland or nerves behind the scrotum.
Psychosexual counselling can have a huge impact on quality of life. This will require a GP referral.
For further information about psychosexual therapy https://www.relate.org.uk/what-we-do/counselling/sex-therapy or information for patients https://www.cosrt.org.uk/factsheets/
Circumcision and Wide Local Excision
The penis will be swollen and sore after these types of surgery but will heal and function normally. There may be some scarring and a slight change of shape in the appearance of the penis, but normal sexual function will be preserved.
The head of the penis (glans) is the most sensitive part. If it has been removed and a skin graft has been used to make it look as normal as possible there will be some initial swelling and inflammation. Once this has settled the penis should function normally but the sensation in the end may feel different and the graft area may be a slightly different colour. It may take some time for men to adjust to the appearance of their penis. The penis will be slightly shorter.
Penetrative sex is still possible with 4cm of penile length. Men can still ejaculate but it will take some time for men to adjust to the appearance of the penis. In this situation psychosexual counselling (below) will often be of benefit.
Normal sexual intercourse will not be possible following a total penectomy and although men should be able to orgasm (sometimes by touching sensitive areas where the penis used to be), they will not be able to ejaculate.
Sex took me a few months to get my head round. It’s a bit different as there is less sensation at the tip – and a little bit shorter – but it’s fine. We are back to normal, takes a bit more effort to ejaculate but that’s it.
Sex will be off the menu for a while. To be frank it tends to be the last thing on your mind for a while. But it will happen. Can be a bit tricky finding the ‘target.’ If you get my drift. But you still have hands!!!
A fulfilling sex life is very possible after the penis is amputated if both parties especially the man who has lost his penis are willing to put some effort into. One of the biggest fears the man will have other than rejection is the fear of not being able to please a girl. This is complete nonsense.
For partners I would say try to be patient and understanding. It’s just that for a guy the thought of losing your manhood, or acquiring another, is an end of the world as we know it scenario. And remember that your partner will still love you and have loving feelings for you – that includes sexual arousal too! (That doesn’t go away because you have penile cancer – if anything I reckon it increases), so don’t think that YOU need to call it a day sexually just because your man has some work in progress…